More Health - Healthy Boundaries
Healthy Boundaries
For me healthy boundaries start in my core and work outwards.
The more I fill my Core with the fullness of God, the more I can share
it in the world.
Each level outwards from my core has healthy boundary limits.
When I feel full and alive in each level of my Relationship Rings, I
fully share my beingness when I ask and it feels good for me.
When I start from the Core and work outwards with every decision, I
feel Whole and Complete about every decision I make.
Top
“Yes”
Or “No”
When I have set my healthy boundaries, I feel comfortable
saying “Yes” or “No” in my life.
For example, when someone asks me if I can help volunteer at a
function, I ask myself how this request works in my life.
Personal Relationship Core: Does this work for me? Yes.
Intimate Relationship Ring: Does this work for my plans with my
partner? Yes.
Family Relationship Ring: Does this work for my plans with my family?
No. Why not? That weekend is my mother’s Birthday. We are
celebrating her birthday together.
If I make my decisions from the Core outwards, then I set healthy
boundaries. I only agree to participate in things that allow my life
experience to flourish and flow from my Core outwards.
Healthy
Boundaries Equal Personal Space
For example, if I have a family member who continues to
need a lot of my time, I ask myself why do they need my time?
If the family member is a toddler, then my responsibility is to take
care of someone who cannot take care of themselves.
If the family member is a teenage child, then my responsibility is to
help them become self reliant. I ask myself, “Does my
response to
their request help promote my independence and theirs?”
If the family member is an adult relative, then I ask myself, does
their request allow me to feel fully alive from the inside out?
Each experience helps me to choose what is a healthy boundary for me.
My needs come first.
This is not Selfish.
This is taking care of the Self.
Only when we take care of our self first, do we have the energy to
support others when called upon.
Self-Esteem begins with SELF.
Only with a Strong Self are we able to help others.
Life Is
Supporting One Another
I like to the story of the person who dies and goes to
heaven.
Just before being let into heaven, the gatekeeper took this person into
hell.
“You need to see this”, the gatekeeper said.
In hell, the person saw the most incredible tables of food; glorious,
mouth watering, wonderful food.
Also in hell, the person saw that everyone was miserable because they
could not eat this glorious food because they had six foot long spoons.
The gatekeeper asked, “have you seen enough?”
The person nodded and they went back to heaven.
In heaven, the person saw that heaven had the same incredible tables of
food that were present in hell.
And exactly as in hell, the people in heaven had six foot long spoons.
However, in heaven, they were gloriously happy because they were
feeding each other.
Heathy
Boundaries Feed Each Other
When we are down, others are there to help us up.
When others are down, we are there to help them up.
Healthy boundaries allow us to feed each other.
If we say “No” when we want to, we can say
“Yes” when we want to.
Being able to say “Yes” or “No”
because of what is important to us is valuable to keeping strong health.
Healthy
Boundaries Protect Each Other
When we have healthy boundaries, we feel safe and
protected.
We know that we can say “Yes” or
“No” because that is what works for us.
We also know that people will say “Yes” or
“No” to us because that is what works for them.
Healthy boundaries work both ways.
We choose to have healthy boundaries for ourselves, and we choose
healthy boundaries for everyone else in our lives.
Healthy Boundaries help us work well with others.
Healthy Limits help us work well with ourselves.
